The statement, on its own is a beautiful tribute to successes and perhaps even perceived blessings. “You’re Lucky…to be alive.” Thank you, God for sparing our lives.
“You’re Lucky…it was just benign.” Thank you, God for this close call that turned out to be nothing more than a medical stress.
“You’re Lucky…you get all the breaks.” Thank you, God for providing for us over and over again.
So, in all of the phrases in the history of human language, I never expected “You’re lucky” to be such a, dare I say, offensive sentiment.
“You’re lucky he isn’t worse.”
You see Obie is unique. We don’t know how unique, and I am sure in the course of my ramblings you will get flavors of his, um, quirks. And while he isn’t officially diagnosed ASD, that is the direction we are headed. To be clear, he is verbal-ish, he doesn’t have a ton of repetitive behaviors, his sensory triggers are pretty ‘out there’, but don’t impact his quality of life too much. It is a spectrum that is wide and varied, and every child is so truly unique that it is easy to say that his path won’t be easy, yet others will walk a more difficult path.
But lucky? What does that say about the thousands of families facing a mountain of difficulties with increasing severity? Did they pull the short straw? Are their kids any less valuable and precious, and image-bearers than mine?
I am lucky that Obie is God’s child who I get to help in this world. I am lucky that he is special and difficult and sooooo charming. I am lucky that he flashes a smile daily, is growing healthy and strong, and loves his siblings. I am lucky that he becomes so frustrated that we have to walk him down from tantrums daily. I am lucky that his needs have become my needs. I am lucky because through his care, I have grown so much more empathetic of how we are all different. I am lucky because I can see God in his eyes, and his dimple, and crooked smile. I am lucky because I can see that God chose me to be his mom. I am lucky because it is messy being his mom, but in the mess I’m being refined.
I am lucky, but not in the way that “You’re lucky he isn’t worse” conveys.